


A Smooth & Shiny Future

by DivineNoodles



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Cursed, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Hina May Or May Not Commit a Felony, Wigs Get Snatched
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:22:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26361100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivineNoodles/pseuds/DivineNoodles
Summary: Chisato wants to escape the idol industry, and Hina has a plan to get her out.
Relationships: Hikawa Hina/Shirasagi Chisato
Comments: 23
Kudos: 48





	A Smooth & Shiny Future

**Author's Note:**

> Unofficially dedicated to Lissie, Py, and Joseph, the biggest HinaChisa fans I know - without them I definitely wouldn't have given this ship a second thought. Love y'all, and I preemptively apologize for what you're about to experience.

“Chisa-chi… Chisa-chiiiiii!”

An excitable lilt stirred Chisato from slumber, blinking to clear away the spots from her vision. Her magenta eyes soon rested upon an unexpected but familiar face. “Hina...chan…?”

Hina laughed, reaching out to poke Chisato’s nose with one finger. “Good morning, sleepyhead!”

The pleasure of Hina’s closeness was undercut by the mere fact of her presence. “...How did you get into my house?”

Hina smiled vacantly. “Through the front door?”

“But--” Chisato cut herself off: it wasn’t the first time she’d woken up to Hina sharing a bed with her, and she hadn’t gotten a clear explanation the last time it happened either. “Nevermind. Could I get a little space, please?”

“Awww!” moaned Hina, her childlike mirth melting into a pouty frown as she remained in place. “But I missed you! It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other…”

“Hina-chan, we practiced together two days ago.”

“I know! More than 20 hours away from you makes me all urky-gurk!”

Chisato couldn’t stop herself from smirking at that. The invasion of privacy was… troubling, to say the least--and she’d have to tell her parents to install a couple more deadbolts in the front door for good measure--but Hina meant well. She thought. She hoped. “Do at least ask next time before you break into my house in the dead of night, alright?”

“Okay!” said Hina, not picking up on a single trace of Chisato’s flippancy. She rolled out of bed and onto the floor, leaping to her feet with great exuberance. “But guess what! Guess what!”

“What?” asked Chisato, finally comfortable enough to sit up…

...only to feel something very slightly off.

It was the same sensation one gets when they misplace their cell phone, only to realize it’s in their hand. The nagging sense that something is out of place and juuuust on the edge of the periphery, the tip of your tongue, but you can’t pin it down. Chisato glanced around her room, wondering if Hina had rearranged the belongings: maybe she’d swiped some of Chisato’s childhood acting photos, or pulled out outfits for some of her old roles, or dug up the mountain of failed drawings from beneath her bed (Chisato dearly hoped that last one wasn’t the case.)

Hina rolled on the balls of her feet back and forth as Chisato looked, a volcano holding in all of the lava she so desperately wanted to spew. “C’mon, guess, guess!”

Chisato sighed with a smile. “I don’t know what you--”

And that’s when she noticed.

She had to reach up and check to make sure she wasn’t crazy, but no, it had happened. It had really, truly, honestly happened. Even with physical proof in (or rather gone from) her hands, she was incredulous. All she could do was face her fellow bandmate with a thousand-yard stare, doing everything she could to process what had occurred while keeping the ironclad will of Chisato Shirasagi together. After what felt like an eternity of silent deep breaths, she composed herself enough to speak. “Hina-chan?”

“Yeah, Chisa-chi?”

“...Why am I bald?”

Hina hopped gleefully in place. “You noticed! Boppin’~! Or should I say balddin’~!”

If Chisato hadn’t been in a state of shock, the insipidity of that pun might have sent her into a blind rage. Instead her hands ran over the smooth, hairless dome of her own head, now free of the golden locks that had adorned it since she was a toddler, trying to understand this new reality she had found herself in.

“Oh wait! You should take a look for yourself!” Pivoting around rapidly, Hina eventually fell upon Chisato’s plastic yellow hand mirror and shoved it in her face. “Take a look! You’re downright unmarketable!”

Chisato looked at her face, aghast and blemishless beneath her now clean cranium. Even with the curtains drawn in her room she could practically catch a gleam off the corner of her temple. ‘Unmarketable’ wasn’t a bad word for it--without makeup, she looked downright extraterrestrial. Somehow, the maelstrom of questions within Chisato’s mind had instantaneously dwindled down to one. “Hina-chan.”

“Hm?”

“Why?”

“Why what?” Hina parroted. “Why am I dressed in dinosaur pajamas? Well, who  _ doesn’t  _ like dino pjs is what I always--”

Chisato sighed loudly enough to stop her in her tracks. “Why did you shave my head?”

“Oh, that!” Hina laughed it off, as she did with everything. “Well, last time we went into the broom closet for one of our makeout sessions--”

“Social meetings.”

“Social meetings, right, whatever.” Hina waved dismissively. “Anyway, you were all umph-fwump and bluuuuuuurf about work stuff and said you’d love a way out of the industry, so…!” She open-hand motioned to Chisato, sitting up in her bed in her silken pajamas. “Presto!”

“...Did you think this through beforehand?” asked Chisato, resisting the urge to crawl back under the covers and sink into her mattress until the earth reclaimed her weary bones.

“Well, of course I did!” Hina replied. “I mean, I had to plan it out so I could surprise you. Gotta admit that it was Kaoru-kun’s idea, though. She apparently has like, a whole file cabinet full of rescue scenarios for you.”

“Oh? I didn’t know.” Chisato filed that away to use as teasing-blackmail in the future. “How… thoughtful of you two.”

“Yep! And we used Aya-chan for practice last night.” Hina pulled out her phone with a whimsical hum before thrusting its screen out towards Chisato. “She looks great too!”

A picture of Hina and Kaoru dabbing in front of a bald, unconscious Aya crystallized before her. All it was missing was a 😂 and a 🔥 and it would fit into a YouTube video called “EPIC BALDING PRANK GONE RIGHT.”

“We posted it to Twitter last night,” said Hina, pulling the phone back and flipping through her apps. “It’s already got 10k retweets!”

“Did Aya-chan approve of this?” asked Chisato, crossing her arms.

“How could she?” asked Hina, arcing an eyebrow. “I mean, we waited until she fell asleep to do it.”

For the umpteenth time in their relationship, Hina had left Chisato at a loss for words.

“But hey hey! Ruining your career will be a snap!” Hina’s phone shutter clicked as she said it. “We’ll just post this too, and before long you’ll be immortalized in infamy as the idol who went bald overnight!”

“Is that truly scandal-worthy…?” murmured Chisato, the corner of her lip twitching upwards.

“It’s foolproof!” said Hina, her fingers moving with lightning speed and precision as she prepped to tweet. “You can do the honors yourself, of course.”

Chisato looked at the picture of herself looking mildly cross (and very bald), accompanied by text saying ‘guess Aya-chan has a partner lmao,’ and closed her eyes. “Hina… this isn’t going to do anything.”

“Huh? Whaddya mean?”

“First off… wigs are a thing. Fixing my appearance is a matter of going to the right store.” Chisato slid off her bed and stood up, the top of her hairless head right at Hina’s eye level. “Second, this would, as you say, increase my notoriety… which would only paradoxically increase my appeal as an idol. There’s no such thing as bad publicity, after all.”

“What? Not even with bald idols?” Hina had never looked so disappointed before.

“Some may even find it inspiring,” said Chisato, her eyes cast to the side in thought. “I can see the producers spinning it now… ‘beloved icon Chisato Shirasagi fighting secret battle against cancer.’ Or perhaps ‘generous angel Chisato Shirasagi donates hair to children in need.’ I doubt any would assume that the truth was that my capricious girlfr-- bandmate invaded my room in the dead of night to take a buzzer to my skull.”

“Hey!” Hina exclaimed. “We used an old fashioned razor, not a buzzer!”

“...Point withstanding,” Chisato continued, her expression dulling to an exasperated acceptance. “This is more a speed bump for me personally than anything that would get me out of the industry.”

“Awww…” Hina slumped over, disappointment creeping into her shoulders. “And I’d thought it was perfect, too…”

Chisato would usually say “it’s the thought that counts,” but she wasn’t sure if that aphorism applied to this situation.

“Dangit.” Hina suddenly grabbed her hair and yanked it off, revealing her own shiny cueball. “And after I went to all the trouble to match, too.”

Chisato just stared. And stared. And stared some more.

“I had a whole big plan cookin’ up in my head!” said Hina, her eyes shining. “We’d go on the run as bald bandits! It’d be all fwoosh and fwow and pizzazzy!”

“Why on earth would we be bandits?” asked Chisato, really unsure how she was able to even speak right now.

“Well, I mean, if we broke our contracts that’d make us criminals, right?” asked Hina, plopping down on the bed with a sigh. “I figure if I had to choose between life in prison or life on the lamb, then I’m goin’ with the one that’s fluffy and soft and tastes good when roasted.”

“That’s not what going on the lamb--” Chisato actually laughed at that. “Hina-chan, how much of what you say or do is on purpose?”

“Whaddya mean?” asked Hina, craning her head in that curious, wide-eyed manner of hers. “I just say what I think, that’s all!”

“Right, but…” Chisato shook her head with a smile. Hina wasn’t like herself, always considering the consequences or second-guessing her decisions or worrying about how the world perceived her. She only ever did what she put her mind to. And perhaps Chisato envied her for it. 

“Ah, but don’t worry!” Hina nudged Chisato’s knee with her elbow, winking playfully. “I’ll think of a new strategy to get us both out of this business lickety split! Just you wait!”

...No, envy wasn’t quite right. It was something purer than that: admiration. “Well, thank you Hina-chan. Although…”

“Hm?”

Chisato leaned forward, her eyeline falling to line up with Hina’s as her lips curled into a playful smirk. “I think I know exactly how to cause a scandal.”

“Oh?” Hina laughed with that self-aware yet innocent playfulness that made her so star-striking. “How’s that?”

Chisato’s hands began skimming up Hina’s dino pj’s, coming to rest on Hina’s shoulders. “Why, if there’s one thing if society can’t seem to tolerate… it’s girls kissing.”

Hina’s face fell into a perfect O, equally stunned and amazed by the proposition, just as she had been a thousand times before. “That sounds… boppin’.”

No more words were needed. Chisato leaned in, waiting for that soft, glittery taste to fall upon her lips, like a sprinkle of stardust in daylight…

“And then it was like! Shoobidy-wowzers! Kapreeeen! Zimzamblam!”

Hina made grand swooping motions like a hawk in flight all around the practice studio, acting out an interpretive dance of emotion that any onlooker would be stunned into silence by.

“And finally… kersplam.” Hina clapped her hands together and fell into a perfect split, exhaling with relief as she fell back to rest on her hands. “It was the most boppin’ makeout session ever.”

“Um… Hina-san…” Maya scratched her cheek as she sat criss-cross on the ground, her other hand nervously tugging at her own hair. “That’s a pretty wild story.”

“I agree!” said Eve, kneeling in an eager seiza position. “I had no idea either of you were bald! Especially since you have a full head of hair right now!”

Hina giggled impishly. “Oh yeah, we rubbed each other’s bald heads for good luck as we made out. It was zappin’.”

“E-Eve-san,” said Maya, leaning in to whisper into her ear, “I don’t think Hina-san’s story was true…”

“Really?” asked Eve.

“Yeah. I mean, besides questions of how she got into Chisato-san’s house… would Chisato really act so calmly and lovingly after having her head shaven in the middle of the night?”

“Hm…” Eve wore the contemplative brow of a poet thinking on a haiku. “That certainly sounds like the sort of action that would make Chisato-san upset…”

“My, are you all talking about me behind my back?”

Maya jumped at the saccharinely lethal voice that came from three feet behind them. “N-No! We, um, j-just…!”

Chisato giggled. “Just teasing, Maya-chan. Relax.” She stepped past the two of them to face Hina, who was stretching and whistling while avoiding eye contact. “Hina-chan?”

“Yeah?” said Hina, her innocence sounding a little less genuine than usual.

“We don’t have to have a talk about matters that should be private,” the sound of exactly one knuckle popping permeated the airspace, “do we?”

“Wowee, would you look at that!” said Hina, suddenly leaping to her feet. “I just remembered something I needed to do before Aya-chan gets here. Gotta bounce~!”

And before anybody could object to the contrary, she had skedaddled.

Chisato’s razor-sharp smile turned towards Maya and Eve. “Did she tell you anything… pernicious, perhaps?”

“I do not know that word!” said Eve innocuously.

“N-Nothing at all!” said Maya, moving to cover Eve’s mouth. “Just, er, talking about her woopity-woos and whatnot as usual. G-Good ol’ Hina-san! That’s why we love her!”

“Mm. Right.” Maya could see the tension leave Chisato’s bones. “I suppose I should follow her example and be less paranoid…”

She spun around to make for the door--presumably to grab water or something else before practice--when Maya saw it. She swore it was an ill hallucination or a trick of the light at first. But there was no mistaking that Chisato’s hair was… slanted. Just so slightly to the right.

“Ah, Chisato-san!” said Eve, breaking out of Maya’s grasp. “Your hairpiece is--”

With a deftness of motion Chisato smoothly realigned her hair and swiveled around to show a thousand-watt smile. “Hm? Did you say something, Eve-chan?”

“N… No…” said Eve, showing a rare yet pronounced fear.

“Very well.” Chisato’s grin grew ever larger as she finally made her exit. 

Maya released the wad of air that had build up in her diaphragm, sinking into the studio floor with weary muscles. “Th-That was a close call…” Despite her curiosity, she knew that if she dived anymore into that business it wouldn’t end well for anybody involved.

Oh well. Let sleeping dogs lie. Maya wasn’t good with dogs, anyway.

Eve’s phone buzzed. “Maya-san, Aya-san texted me to say that Hina-san ‘snatched her wig.’ What does that mean?”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by my roommate, a Hina kinnie who spends all her time playing Enstars. She gives me some truly amazing concepts from time to time...
> 
> Twitter: @DivineNoodles


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